etrnl_student

I have been drawn to alternative type religions ever since I can remember. I have always sought knowledge, but been unable to commit to any specific religion. None of them really fit me. I know what I believe, and do my best to live in a way that is true to those beliefs. 'Organized' religion scares me, as I am also a student of history.

For about 5 years, my path has been leading me toward Native American studies. I have resisted until recently, for various reasons. It boils down to the fact that I was not ready. There were some things in my life that needed to be resolved before I could walk this path.

During this time, I attended a weekend seminar, held by a shaman named Gary, on death and dying. That seminar helped me to accept the death of my fiance, as well as deal with my inner demons regarding past suicide attempts. I have also had 2 shamans do soul recovery/extractions for me. The SR & E's were both very beneficial.

One of the main obstacles in my pursuit of Native American knowledge, is an issue of trust. I have trouble trusting people. There are a couple of people in my life who have shamanic knowledge, but I do not trust them enough to ask their help beyond conversationally. I do not trust that our interests are compatible.

So, I am walking the path with knowledge gained from books and conversation. I will keep a record here of progress made, as well as obstacles encountered. The intent is to learn.